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Commands

8ball ['8'] Ask the magic 8ball a question
acronym ['ac'] Look up an acronym
anchorman Quote Anchorman.
annoy ['a', 'bother'] Annoy everyone with meaningless banter
bender ['bend'] Quote Bender, a la http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Futurama
bitchingisuseless ['qbiu'] It really is, ya know...
blame Pass the buck!
bless Bless the day!
boo Boo someone
bottom10 ['bottom'] Return the bottom n (default 10) lowest entities by Karmic value. Use negative numbers for the bottom N.
calc Perform a basic calculation
chain Chain some(one|thing) down.
cheer ['c'] Cheer for something
compliment ['surreal'] Generate a random compliment from http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG
config Change the running config, something like a=b or a+=b or a-=b
create-db-in-shard Create a database in a shard. !create-db-in-shard {db name} {shard name}
ctlaltdel ['controlaltdelete', 'controlaltdelete', 'cad', 'restart', 'quit'] Quits pmxbot. A supervisor should automatically restart it.
curse Curse the day!
dance ['d'] Do a little dance
danke ['dankeschoen', 'ds'] Danke schön!
deal Deal or No Deal?
define ['def'] Define a word
demotivate ['dm'] Demotivate someone
disembowel ['dis', 'eviscerate'] Disembowel some(one|thing)!
duck ['ducky'] Display a helpful duck
embowel ['reembowel'] Embowel some(one|thing)!
emergencycompliment ['ec', 'emercomp'] Return a random compliment from http://emergencycompliment.com/
esperantomotivate ['em'] Esperanto motivate
excuse ['e'] Provide a convenient excuse
featurecreep ['fc'] Generate feature creep (P+C http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html)
fight Pit two sworn enemies against each other (separate with 'vs.')
flip Flip a coin
fm ['frenchmotivate'] pmxbot parle français
fml A SFW version of fml.
gettowork ['gtw'] You really ought to, ya know...
gm ['germanmotivate'] German motivate
golfclap ['clap'] Clap for something
google ['g'] Look up a phrase on google
grail I questing baby
haiku Get your Haiku fix from stored phrases. With no arguments it will get you a haiku, other commands available are: 'add-fives', 'add-use-fives', 'add-sevens', 'add-use-sevens' and 'delete'.
hal ['2001'] HAL 9000
hangover Quote hangover.
help ['h'] Help (this command)
hire When all else fails, pmxbot delivers the perfect employee.
imotivate ['im', 'ironicmotivate'] Ironically "Motivate" someone
insult Generate a random insult from datahamster
jm ['japanesemotivate'] None
job ['card'] Generate a job title, http://www.cubefigures.com/job.html
karma ['k'] Return or change the karma value for some(one|thing)
keelhaul ['kh'] Inflict great pain and embarassment on some(one|thing)
klingon ['klingonism'] Ask the magic klingon a question
lm ['latinmotivate'] Rico Suave
log Enable or disable logging for a channel; use 'please' to start logging and 'stop please' to stop.
logo The pmxbot logo in ascii art. Fixed-width font recommended! >>> from more_itertools import consume >>> consume(map(print, logo())) MI=7+MM .M: M=.. .M M ...
logs Where can one find the logs?
lunch ['lunchpick', 'lunchpicker'] Pick where to go to lunch
meaculpa ['apology', 'apologize'] Sincerely apologize
motivate ['m', 'appreciate', 'thanks', 'thank', 'gracias', 'grazie'] Motivate someone
murphy ['law'] Look up one of Murphy's laws
nailedit ['nail', 'n'] Nail that interview
nastygram ['nerf', 'passive', 'bcc'] A random passive-agressive comment, optionally directed toward some(one|thing).
norris Chuck Norris has a website dedicated to pmxbot facts.
notify notify
oregontrail ['otrail'] It's edutainment!
panic ['pc'] Panic!
password ['pw', 'passwd'] Generate a random password, similar to http://www.pctools.com/guides/password
pick ['p', 'p:', 'pick:'] Pick between a few options
pm ['piratemotivate'] Arggh matey
progress Display the progress of something: start|end|percent
quote ['q'] If passed with nothing then get a random quote. If passed with some string then search for that. If prepended with "add:" then add it to the db, eg "!quote add: drivers: I only work here because of pmxbot!". Delete an individual quote by prepending "del:" and passing a search matching exactly one query.
r ['r'] Quote the R mailing list
resolv resolve a hostname
roll Roll a die, default = 100.
rubberstamp ['approve'] Approve something
russianmotivate ['рm', 'rm'] Motivate nick на русском
saysomething Generate a Markov Chain response based on past logs. Seed it with a starting word by adding that to the end, eg '!saysomething dowski:'
schneier schneier "facts"
send_text Send an SMS message: pass the phone number and message to send.
simpsons ['simp'] Quote the Simpsons, a la http://snpp.com/
stab ['shank', 'shiv'] Stab, shank or shiv some(one|thing)!
stack Manage short lists in pmxbot. See !stack help for more info
storytime ['story'] A story is about to be told.
strategy Social Media Strategy, courtsey of http://whatthefuckismysocialmediastrategy.com/
strike Strike last statements from the record
tgif Thanks for the words of wisdow, Mike.
therethere ['poor', 'comfort'] Sympathy for you.
ticker ['t'] Look up a ticker symbol's current trading value
timezone ['tz'] Convert date between timezones. Example: > !tz 11:00am UTC in PDT 11:00 UTC -> 4:00 PDT UTC is implicit > !tz 11:00am in PDT 11:00 UTC -> 4:00 PDT > !tz 11:00am PDT 11:00 PDT -> 18:00 UTC
tinytear ['tt', 'tear', 'cry'] I cry a tiny tear for you.
top10 ['top'] Return the top n (default 10) highest entities by Karmic value. Use negative numbers for the bottom N.
translate ['trans', 'googletrans', 'googletranslate'] Translate a phrase using Google Translate. First argument should be the language[s]. It is a 2 letter abbreviation. It will auto detect the orig lang if you only give one; or two languages joined by a |, for example 'en|de' to trans from English to German. Follow this by the phrase you want to translate.
troutslap ['slap', 'ts'] Slap some(one|thing) with a fish
urbandict ['urb', 'ud', 'urbandictionary', 'urbandefine', 'urbandef', 'urbdef'] Define a word with Urban Dictionary
version ['ver'] Get the version of pmxbot or one of its plugins
wa ['wolframalpha'] A free-text query resolver by Wolfram|Alpha. Returns the first result, if available.
where ['last', 'seen', 'lastseen'] When did pmxbot last see speak?
zinger ['zing'] ZING!
zoidberg ['zoid'] Quote Zoidberg, a la http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Futurama
zorsupas ['kurdishmotivate', 'km'] Zor supas! — !زۆر سوپاس

Triggers

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pmxbot None
sql on rails None
sqlonrails None